@#$%! The Sun

After a long hard day of working for the man, I go to sleep without an alarm to wake me. I am prepared for a hundred-year slumber if that’s what it takes to feel rested again. As I close my eyes and adjust my pillow, a feeling of calm comes to me. Then, after what feels like two seconds, I’m waking up from the sun cutting through my blinds and stabbing me in my eyeballs. What the heck?!

I’m sick and tired of this giant ball of burning gas ruining my good time. I’m a man with means and I mean to use those means meanly if that’s what it takes to get what I want. If you know what I mean. I come back home from a quick trip to the hardware store with several sheets of plywood, a sawzall, a drill, and wood screws. I measure twice and cut once before boarding up all my windows to keep those dastardly sun beams from beaming into my living place ever again. From now on I will rely on superior man-made light. That’ll show ‘em!

I turn to the world wide web to see what other harms I am now being protected from. Besides ruining your sleep, I find that the sun can cause skin cancer, eye damage, heart disease, and suppress the immune system. My windows can’t be the vehicle for this poison any longer, but I am still exposed whenever I leave my apartment. All of these poor fools walking about are ignorant to the way they are slowly killing themselves. It’s my responsibility to set an example.

Thank goodness for 24/7 businesses. I can still go out at night to buy my groceries, and I work from home, so I don’t need to worry about a sunny commute. If I need anything during the day, I can always have it delivered although I sympathize with the poor delivery person. They don’t stand a chance. I pull my hands away from my keyboard and mouse after I add the finishing touches to my plan for avoiding the sun for the rest of my life. I lean back in my chair and, dare I say it, bask in the glory of my good work.

What do you mean moonlight is reflected sunlight?!?!?! Now I need to drape myself in foil every time I leave the house? This is such an inconvenience. There has to be a better way. There has to be a solution. Well now there is! Introducing… reasonability!!! Being reasonable just once a day can save you a lifetime worth of headaches. Becoming a reasonable member of society has never been easier. But wait, there’s more! Act now and for a limited time get the power of acceptance completely free! This incalculable offer won’t last long so act now!

Don’t Bother Trying to Avoid the Sun

You can’t avoid the sun. It’s not impossible but it is illogical. For how present it is in everyday life, it is unreasonable to think that you can completely avoid it. If you actually come up with some way of doing it, you’re probably going to be giving up more than you are getting. Whatever satisfaction you find in the end is not going to be worth that price.

What’s most expensive is the burden others have to pay for your example. Just because you are willing to confine yourself based on the availability of sunlight doesn’t mean others around you will too. Those that depend on you will be forced to suffer while those that are free to leave are likely to do so. Now you are forced to make new lifelong friends in dark alleyways, which doesn’t happen often.

If you do meet someone you mesh well with while taking a stroll down Crime Alley, it’s likely that they are also a hater of the sun and will only reinforce your way of thinking instead of challenging and expanding your worldview. Your already radical view of not coming in contact with sunlight seems completely normal next to your newfound belief that seafood is a Russian conspiracy meant to cripple the US military. This chain of events seems so preposterous you might be wondering what the root cause of all this really was. Is one ruined night of sleep all it takes to boycott shrimp? This question leads to my next point of reflection- the need for reflection.

Ask Yourself: Why do I want to avoid the sun?

Perhaps, like me, you had a negative experience with the sun or maybe a friend told you about their own experience and you didn’t want the same thing to happen to you. A lot of the time people don’t take time to understand all the factors behind an experience and why it happened and instead choose to react emotionally. Is the sun completely at fault or do you hold some of the blame? If I had gone to bed sooner or made sure the curtains were completely shut before hitting the hay, then I would have woken up that next morning well rested instead of ready to rage a vendetta against earth’s closest star.

My emotional reaction is partly because I did not want to take the time to reflect on the situation and partly because if I did, I would be forced to acknowledge some fault in myself that will make me feel less than or an uncontrollable element that will make me feel powerless. It’s much easier to chase the fulfillment I get from acting on my base instincts and declaring my hate. When the high starts to fade though, I need to find new reasons to keep waging my war.

Because I want to reaffirm my beliefs, I turn to the world wide web with a biased query like, “bad things the sun does,” rather than a more levelheaded one that will deepen my general understanding like, “reasons for the sun.” In a few weeks, I’m going to be searching for why I feel fatigued and depressed because I chose to ignore why I needed sunlight. If only we all took the time to acknowledge our insecurities and accept that we can’t block the sun.

Accept That You Can’t Block the Sun

If you don’t, you will make yourself and others miserable in pursuit of a virtually unobtainable goal. Being reasonable and accepting the reality of the world will reveal your truth and how you can act in a way that’s positive. Reactive thought is seldom the correct path and prevents personal growth. Unfortunately, it seems that its becoming more and more of a popular option every day.

Whether it’s sunlight, artificial intelligence, politics, religion, noisy neighbors, or whatever else is grinding your gears don’t make your life’s mission to eradicate it from the world through blind hatred. Attempt to understand why it exists, the reality of its role, and the ways it can be reasonably handled. I know I’m not saying anything new, and I doubt I’m even saying anything in a new way either. Recently, in my work and personal life, I have let myself get overcome with emotion over things out of my control. I see the same thing happening all the time to people around me. It is irrational for everyone to hate the sun.

Maybe my frustration of all this irrationality is irrational in and of itself. Maybe this circular thought is unproductive. Maybe I use maybe too much and the uncertainty it implies makes me a weaker writer. Maybe I can’t resist a good writing gag. Maybe I’ll stop now. Maybe I won’t.